I woke up this morning at 6:00am to finish my research scholarship application. Originally, my alarm was set for 4:00am, with the thought that after a 3-hour cat-nap, I could get up and keep plugging away at it. That always works during the school year! But, the snooze button won that battle.
I finished writing the proposal, e-mailed it out to my sister for a proofread at 7:38, and figured just a few-minute nap would be useful before getting up and going to work. I was tuckered out on only a few hours of sleep!
I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. Yikes! 9:01am, and I had intended to be at work by 9:30am and pull a slightly longer day!
No time for a shower. No milk left in the fridge for cereal. There was only enough time to get dressed, wash my face and brush my teeth, take a sip of coffee, run back to the bathroom to finish applying cover-up while I waited for my oatmeal to puff up, sneak another sip of coffee, and make a peanut butter sandwich.
I also had to strip my bed for the custodians to replace the mattresses in the Towers, hide personal belongings, and remember to write a check for my July rent. It took me forever to find where I "safely hid" my checkbook, and as I ran out the door, I still wasn't sure if my cell phone made it into my purse or was still hibernating in the room for the day. I am still not positive where it ended up.
Some would call this a bad morning. Maybe even a foreshadow to something likened to Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. However, at the end that 37-minute period, from when I rolled out of bed to when I turned on the ignition of my car at 9:38am, I couldn't help by feel a sense of peace and tremendous joy to start the day. Sure, I slept late, finished my proposal at the last second, never made it to the gym, didn't get to relax over breakfast, and even made it to work 20 minutes later than I planned, but that's exactly it! My plans, my regimented desire for the day had failed and I was struck with the beautiful realization that my life is not in my own hands.
I felt more joyful this morning than I have any other day so far this summer. Why? Because I could laugh at my foolishness, my poor planning and procrastination, and my frazzled preparation, and knew without a doubt that the day ahead was out of my control.
I finally submitted the rushed scholarship application, and even though I feel the opportunity is a shot in the dark for me, the process taught me once again to still find joy in my weakness and to turn over whatever academic, professional, or daily task-oriented plans I may have.
Two nights ago, I was reading Paul's admission and celebration of weakness, and last evening, this passage was referenced a second time during a discussion:
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me"
2 Corinthians 12:9
They say three times is the charm, right? Well, on Reminder #3, I can rejoice that I am weak, He is strong, and my day has been oh so beautifully blessed!
